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A Day in the Life of the Chosen One

What a day yesterday was for President Barack Obama!

At 0600 the Pentagon awarded our Nobel Peace Prize winner the Navy Cross, the Army Distinguished Service Cross and the Air Force Cross.

At 0615 he was also awarded the Medal of Honor.

At 0630 he was awarded a Silver Star

And at 0645 he was awarded a Purple Heart.

At 7:00 am he was awarded all of Michael Phelps’ Olympic Gold Medals for swimming.

At 8:15 am he was named MVP for next year’s Super Bowl.

At 9:00 am he was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

At 9:45 am he received word that he’d won a Pulitzer for next year.

At 10:00 am he received an Academy Award for next year.

At 10:30 he received a Peabody Award for next year.

At 11:15 am he received a Grammy for next year.

And at 12:30 pm he received a People’s Choice Award for next year.

At 1:30 pm he was named 2010 Playmate of the Year by Hugh Hefner.

At 2:00 pm he landed the lead role in the 2010 remake of “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

At 2:45 pm he was declared the winner of next year’s Masters golf tournament.

At 3:30 pm he was declared the winner of next year’s Kentucky Derby.

At 4:15 pm he was declared the winner of next year’s U.S. Open tennis tournament.

At 4:45 pm he was declared the winner of next year’s National Spelling Bee.

At 5:30 pm he cured cancer.

At 7:00 pm he walked across the Potomac River to grab a bite to eat.

At 11:00 pm the angels tucked him in and kissed him gently on his forehead.

Fortunately, today is Sunday and The Chosen One can rest.