Connect
To Top

Are You Ready to Rumble?

As I’ve written here before, a philosophical Battle Royale is shaping up in various state senate seats featuring bona fide card-carrying conservatives vs. what appear to be establishment-backed tax-hikes-are-on-the-table Raggio Republicans.

While not all of these candidates have announced – or even made a definite decision yet for that matter – here’s a possible right-vs-middle Survivor Series line-up for next June’s GOP primary:

* In a Voters Bring the Weapons Handicap Match for Senate District 4 in Reno, conservative Assemblyman Ty “T-Rex” Cobb and Todd “TNT” Taxayer vs. Ben “The Consensus Builder” Kieckhefer

* In a Lumberjack Match for Senate District 2 in Reno, conservative Assemblyman Don “Road Warrior” Gustavson vs. Washoe County Commissioner Bob “Boogie-Woogie” Larkin

* In a Falls Count Anywhere Match for the Capital Senate District in Carson City, conservative Assemblyman James “The Cowboy Crippler” Settelmeyer vs. former Carson City Mayor Ray “Boom-Boom” Masayko

* In an Over the Top Rope Match in Las Vegas for Senate District 12, conservative businessman Patrick “The Black Knight” McNaught vs. RINO Assemblyman Joe “The Tax Man” Hardy

* In a Last Man Standing Match for the right to take on Democrat incumbent Sen. Joyce “The Montana Masher” Woodhouse for Senate District 5 in Las Vegas, we have conservatives “Iron” Mike Roberson, Glenn “Rolling Thunder” Greener and Rudy “Dr. Tort Reform” Manthei

* And in an Electric Steel Cage Match for Senate District 9 in Las Vegas, conservative Assemblyman Chad “The Velvet Assassin” Christensen vs. RINO Sen. Dennis “The Menace” Nolan

Oh, and in a general election Loser Leaves Town Diva Match for Senate District 8 in Las Vegas, it’ll be conservative Sen. Barbara “The Desert Fox” Cegavske vs. Democrat Tammy “Ice Princess” Peterson. The celebrity guest referee for this match will be South Carolina Gov. Mark “The Appalachian Kid” Sanford

And unlike that greedy Vince McMahon and all of his pay-per-view showdowns, these matches will be free to watch by Nevada audiences everywhere.

And yes, I do have tickets to Monday Night RAW next week in Las Vegas!