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Don’t Touch My Junk Day

Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist John L. Smith has little good to say about the touchy-feely TSA gropers at the Checkpoint Charlie stations in American airports, but he describes today’s planned “National Opt-Out Day” – in which passengers will slow down airport screenings by opting out of having their naked bodies ogled by government screeners on the new porno-scanners and choose the more time-consuming procedure of a full-body feel-up – as a “dopey idea.”

“No one has to tell me the new TSA procedures are intrusive without doing much to improve security,” Smith writes. “But clogging the nation’s airports on one of the busiest travel days of the year is simply loony.”

Au contraire, mon frere. Mounting a protest action at a time and place when it will cause the most disruption to the general public is a time-honored practice perfected by….organized labor. Consider as just one example the New York transit worker strike on December 20, 2005 (from Wikipedia):

“The 2005 strike, which took place during the busiest shopping week of the year, had significantly affected the local economy since many people had then chosen to avoid shopping in New York by either shopping online, or by postponing purchases.”

If you want to bring maximum attention to your cause, you cause maximum inconvenience to the general public. Conducting National Opt-Out Day on the day before Thanksgiving to bring attention to the TSA’s new screening regimen isn’t dopey or loony; it’s brilliant. I mean, if National Opt-Out Day were to be held on, say, January 12th, would anyone really care or notice?

And sticking with the TSA theme:

“As usual, you can always rely on government officials to screw things up,” writes longtime NN&V reader Bruce Feher. “Take the latest nonsense that the TSA has devised. With a little creative thinking and some policy changes they could turn lemons into lemonade and maybe even make a few bucks from the flying public.

“How? Simple! Have different layers of pat-downs. For those willing to pay an extra fee, you could be frisked by a beautiful female or a handsome guy depending on your preferences. It would certainly make the process more enjoyable and if it were implemented I might even consider flying again!”

You know, I think he might be onto something here! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.