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Hickey Unchained!

As I mentioned yesterday, GOP legislators were outraged on Thursday after Democrat Assemblyman Paul Aizley, Chairman of the Legislative Committee on Public Lands, ruled unilaterally that his committee would not pursue state control of certain federal lands in Nevada during a work session of his committee.

The response from Assembly Minority Leader Pat Hickey (Reno-RINO) was delivered via Pony Express late yesterday morning, well after the news stories about the matter had already been written, published and broadcast.

And what a shame, because Hickey’s statement really let Aizley have it (not)!

Summoning up all the partisan fire-and-brimstone he could muster, Hickey called down the thunder and unloaded on Aizley in an email press release with the indecipherable headline, “Who’s pulling the strings on Nevada’s public lands?”

“The Chairman’s surprise decision to table recommendations on the issue of Nevada’s public lands, is a slap in the face to all 63 Nevada lawmakers who voted for the study, and all 17 Nevada counties who funded and staffed the legislatively-mandated task force,” declared Hickey in a sentence bearing at least two too many commas and a “who” that should’ve been a “that.”

Gotta wonder which English major in the GOP caucus wrote that sentence for Hickey and how Hickey, a former newsman, ever approved it.  But that’s digressing into Ralstonesque territory, so let’s move on.

“The purpose of an interim committee is to study issues, take input from the public, and report back to the Legislature the conclusions arrived at by its members,” declared the former conscientious objector.  “Whoever it was that influenced the Chairman to reject the Nevada Land Management Task Force’s recommendations, has done a disservice to the Nevada public and their elected representatives.”

Wow!  What a scathing indictment…even with yet another comma that has no place being there.  How will Aizley and the Democrats ever withstand such a virulent public display of Hickey wrath?  Why, I’m sure Aizley will now “pull a Romero” and reverse himself immediately, right?

Yeah, right.

Come on.  Hickey’s statement – issued not only well after the horse left the barn but after every news outlet in the state had already reported on the horse’s escape – was as lamely written and ineffectively delivered as…well, just about every other press release/statement issued by Hickey in the past.

And all kidding aside, exactly what is Hickey going to do about this “outrage” on Aizley’s part?

Well, if history is any guide, absolutely nothing.  Hickey talks a good game – well, no, not really – but when it comes to taking firm, effective action, the man is a bronze statue.  It reminds me of this old comedy bit from Robin Williams

“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don’t have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say ‘Stop…or I’ll say stop again.’”

So Aizley will get away with the stunt he pulled because there is no opposition leader who will make him pay a price for what he did.

Hickey’s title should be changed from Minority Leader to Minority Eunuch.

If Republicans in the Assembly re-elect this guy to “lead” their caucus in November they will deserve every bit of humiliation and frustration they will inevitably again suffer in 2015.

You can’t fix stupid.