As I noted in yesterday’s Nevada News & Views e-newsletter, the “Paultards” – the fringe elements of the Ron Paul movement, not the sane ones – attempted to hijack our online presidential poll before it was even announced to the newsletter subscribers it was intended for.
Apparently someone from their base camp on Alpha Centuri sent an email instructing the Paultards of the world to unite and try to skew our poll. As a result, I decided to remove Dr. Paul’s name from the poll just before announcing it to NN&V readers.
At which point the online Paultard trolls almost immediately began voting for “Somebody else.” Again, this was occurring before I even officially announced the poll to my readers. So I was forced to eliminate the “Somebody else” option, as well.
Not that there was ever any doubt in my mind as to what was going on, by my suspicions were confirmed when some numb-nut caller ID’ed as “Emmer L” from upstate New York called to inquire about the “Republican poll.” Again, the guy’s call came in before the poll had even been announced to my e-newsletter list.
Emmer L obviously found out about the poll via the TFN (Tin Foil Network), not from Nevada News & Views. And the fact is, our poll’s intent was to gauge preferences of Nevadans and Nevada News & Views subscribers. If I wanted to know the opinions of upstate New Yorkers, I’d have asked for them.
In any event, shortly thereafter the predictable and all-too-common hate e-mails began arriving as the e-Paultard Army discovered that their inter-galactic effort to skew a local poll had been stanched.
“Donna Rode” [email@example.com] wrote: “OH, CHUCK, YOU ARE SUCH A SCHMUCK!!”
Yep, how to win friends and influence people. It’s déjà vu, all over again. Seems like only yesterday.
Ass-clown “Gary Lynch” [firstname.lastname@example.org] puked up these memorably incisive comments: “WTF, YOU (expletive deleted)SUCKER, LOW DOWN NO GOOD SOB. CHANGE A POLL TO SUIT YOU AND GET WHAT YOU DESERVE. WHATEVER THAT IS???”
The grammar’s hard to make out, but the e-shouting came in loud and clear.
“Sal Randazzo” [email@example.com], equally challenged grammatically, weighed in with this delusionary criticism: “You are phony journalist with your own agenda. Ron Paul is the peoples choice. He won C-pac and will win again this year. To remove him from you poll is dishonest and only the way for you to control the fake narrative of what you think. Power to the people.”
Sorry, Sal (but not as sorry as your grammar teacher). It wasn’t MY dishonesty that resulted in Dr. Paul’s removal from the poll options. It was the dishonesty of the Pualtards who tried to skewer our poll by voting even though they don’t live in our state and aren’t subscribers to our Nevada e-newsletter.
Another genius named Gerald Martinez [firstname.lastname@example.org] wrote: “WTF! I have been on this mailing list for a while but I just notice you do not have Ron Paul on your prez poll. Take me off your mailing list now scumbag!”
Yes, these Paultards definitely have anger management problems. And they also have a bit of trouble reading for comprehension. If Mr. Martinez had actually read the newsletter he refers to, he would have read the explanation which appeared in the very next paragraph below the one announcing the poll.
My, how these people love to make fools of themselves.
Another Einstein hiding behind the fake name “anti-Muth” (how clever!) tried to post the following on my Muth’s Truths blog on a completely unrelated post: “This is the guy that deleted Ron Paul’s name on a poll that he was winning. 2 words: Douche Bag”
Nice. And these people actually wonder why nobody takes them seriously? Seriously?
Next I got a call from some yahoo named Blaine Walker from Texas, who didn’t understand why I didn’t want him to vote in our Nevada poll. The conversation went pretty much along these lines:
“Do you live in Nevada, Blaine?”
“Do you subscribe to Nevada News & Views, Blaine?”
“Then why were you trying to vote in our poll and skew the results?”
“Well if you were a man…”
“Go to hell, Blaine.”
Monsieur Walker [email@example.com] then emailed me, using his very best public school English: “your NON-Ron Paul poll is bush league. shame on you sir, who ever you are”
I guess he missed all those days when they taught capitalization and punctuation. And if you don’t know who I am, Blaine, then obviously you’re not one of my subscribers for whom the poll was intended.
“John” [firstname.lastname@example.org] wrote, “What is up with the taking the good doctor Ron Paul off your poll. So you don’t like the way the poll is going so you just remove names. Your a putz man.”
At the risk of pointing out the obvious yet again, if you don’t know why Dr. Paul’s name was removed from the list, then obviously you’re not a subscriber to Nevada News & Views which is who the poll was for. And it’s “you’re a putz, man”…not “your a putz man.”
Steve D, using the internet name “george devoll” [email@example.com] wrote: “People like you are the reason america is going down the drain. People like you are the reason we MUST get back to hand counted paper ballots. You are as UnAmerican as it gets. America is going to be a lot better off when crooks like you the Neocons and the Socialist Obama sheep are gone or wake up to the reality that the problems stems from you.”
Did all of you Paultards go to the same public school? And we must go back to hand-counted paper ballots? Why not go back candlelight, too? And let’s toss out all our microwave ovens and iPhone, as well.
Elton Harris [firstname.lastname@example.org],the guy who apparently sat next to Steve D in English class, emailed: “Where is Ron Paul? Very well, you are #%”/. Journalism?”
Ebonics is often easier to understand than Paultardese.
“I find it a note of interest to see polls for the 2012 delete or completely omit Ron Paul- you all must be frightened of this guy and why is that?” emailed Elizabeth, using a barely understandable grammatical version of the English language. “Because he’s for personal freedom and civil rights? Because he’s against the banking establishment? WoW! Those are such evil things. Maybe he eats babies for breakfast, too! You really made yourself look like an idiot, Chuck!”
Yes, Elizabeth evokes an image of a pediatrician pouring syrup on one of the babies he just delivered and *I’m* the one who looks like an idiot. As mom used to say, “Takes one to know one.”
I could go on all day with these….because these people, with nothing better to do with their lives, sure can. But I have bigger fish to fry (and juicy babies to eat!). So let me close with this….
I am, and have been for many years, a Ron Paul supporter. Dr. Paul helped shape my strong constitutional/libertarian views after I first met him in 1995. I donated to his presidential campaign twice. Encouraged by readers to do the same. And endorsed him in the Nevada GOP caucus in February 2008.
In addition, I continue to feature many of his columns and op/eds on the pages of Nevada News & Views.
So much for me being an anti-Paul “establishment” Republican just trying to bury the good doctor so no one can hear his message. Indeed, as actual subscribers know, I’m not a Republican at all; the Republican Party left me during the Bush II years, and I left it in 2007.
All that being said, the bitter irony of all this is the fact that after we printed up the ballots for the First Friday Happy Hour straw poll Friday afternoon, we discovered that we have INADVERTENTLY left Dr. Paul’s name off the ballot. So I approved the additional expense of having the ballots completely reprinted to include his name.
Alas, these were “hand-counted paper ballots” and folks actually had put on something other than their pajamas and come out from behind their computers to vote. As such, Dr. Paul didn’t get a single vote despite his name being on the ballot.
I guess after two years of Obama, a lot of people are awakening to the twin realities that (1) elections have consequences, and (2) Ron Paul is even less of a viable 2012 presidential candidate than he was in 2008. I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is.
Time to move on…